I feel so very blessed

If anyone would have told me my senior year of high school that I would be in Flint and happy in 2010, I'd tell you you were crazy. I never planned on returning to Flint. I never saw my life going anywhere in this city. However, I never expected to get divorced and be a single momma, but it did happen. And I couldn't be happier. I honestly am not a single momma now. I have SJ and Miss Bug already knows him as her Dada. She loves him so much. Her face just lights up when she sees him everyday after work.

Anyways, I never thought anyone would inspire me to live the best I can. SJ is a little health conscience and that makes me be a little more than I have been. I actually try and walk a mile a couple times a week. SJ is a runner and so when he goes to run I walk and usually when I finish walking a mile he's done running a 5K. Our Christmas gifts to each other is a gym membership. Yes that's right, I will be going to the gym. The gym we decided on has childcare available while we work out, so we won"t have to try and work with a daycare. We can just got to work out and drop her off at daycare and when we're done we go pick her up. This way we can kind of push each other to actually go and work out.

SJ says he loves me the way I am, but he can see that I'm not happy with my weight. It's just that I weigh 170+lbs and before I had Miss Bug I was down to 165. I have this top that I got my senior year that I absolutely adore. It doesn't fit me but I refuse to get rid of it. My goal is to fit in that top. When I was in my first trimester I lost a lot of weight because of morning sickness and loss of appetite. I got down to 155. Now I was just curious one day and put of that top and it fit. So I need to get at least to 155, but I think I'm gonna shoot for about 140-145. I think that's a good weight. I'll still have my curves and I think my knees and back will stop hurting so much because I have less weight on my joints.

I will definately keep everyone updated on it. Since moving out of my parents house I've lost about 10lbs. I've stopped eatting so late and have alomst completely cut pop out of my diet. Instead of snacking on chips and cookies, I'll get me some carrots with ranch. I'm making more health conscience choices. Hopefully, this will teach Miss Bug how to stay healthy. I just want her to be happy and I know from personally experience that being 5'3" and almost 200lbs doesn't make someone happy. When I was married I wasn't happy with how my body looked. I felt like it wasn't me, just my mind.

With SJ, I can cook anything and I know he'll eat it. He doesn't ask me to make something I know I'm not going to eat. He wants us to eat the same thing at the same time. It doesn't bother him tha I don't eat red meat. I use ground turkey for spagetti and homemade lasagna. He doesn't ask me to make it with beef. He knows I just can't eat it. Red meat literally makes me sick, I can't eat it.

I never thought I'd be where I am but I couldn't be happier being here.

Almost settled in

So, Miss Bug, SJ and I moved into our new home on September 24th. I thought it would take way longer to unpack but we're just about settled in. We've definately already made it a home, not just a house. I feel so comfortable and the house has definately got that homey feeling I always got when I was at my parents old house. I haven't been over there in about a week, but I don't know if I can drive by. It's just difficult. To see the house I grew up in and not be able to go in and see my mom. I knew they were moving, but a week after I moved was a lot sooner than I thought. What can I do though?

Miss Bug is a whole half a year old now. She's rolling over and scooting around the living room like a pro now and, even though she said "ma" first, she is constantly saying "dada" all day. She knows when I'm on the phone with SJ, because she started just a babbling away with her "dada". I love hearing her talk to him. I know he loves her so much. I'm so happy with my life, much happier than I have been in awhile.

I hope to have pictures up of what my house looks like soon. I'm just so happy to have my own place again. Everyone knew that I had never planned on coming back to Flint, but when I met SJ all that changed. I'm actually very happy with the fact that I still live in Flint. True, it's hard for me to find a job, but SJ has a good job. I've actually been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life. I would love to be able to be a professional photographer, but financially I don't see it being an option. So I've decided I'm going to become an Ultrasound Technician. I just need to get up to MCC and talk to an advisor.

Well, it's late and I want to go cuddle up with my sweetheart. I'll blog you later.

Night, y'all.

Moving soon

So life has taken a drastic change since the last time I wrote. I met a really great guy around the time I was trying to see where things would go with Miss Bug's Sperm Donor. We talked for a month before we met face to face. I met him online. I was a little sceptically but now that he's in our lives life is wonderful. Sure there are some bumps in the road but Iam happy. Happy than I have been in awhile.

Anywho, Miss Bug is 5 months old and she's getting so big so fast. I put her in the walker about a week ago and she loved it. She's figured out how to go forward and backwards. She's started putting herself to sleep at nap time. For teh past three days all I've done is laid her in the pack'n'play downstairs so she could see her friends. She'll talk to them for a minute then either cuddle up to the music seahorse or grab the blanket that stays in there and she'll go off to sleep. Last weekend she was moved into her own room. That's right My baby girl has her own room and she seems to like it. Which is great because when my Hunny and I move into our place at the end of the month she'll have her own room. My brother moved out and that's how Miss Bug came to get her own room. I still need to take pictures of it. Before we move.

The thought of moving is kinda of bittersweet. I never thought I would ever move back in with my parents and now that I have been here for over a year, I think I'll miss this house. Soon I won't be able to call it home. Memaw and Poppa will be in Whitehall, Uncle T will be over there later on, Aunt Kay is in Chicago with George and Fred, and we'll be at Torrey Hills. It's time I know, but I grew up in this house, brought my daughter home here. I'm pretty sure I'll drive by it from time to time just to see how it changes.

Great news on my behalf: I FINALLY got my driver's license. Soon I'll be going down to visit my sister and nephews at Campbell. I've missed them so much. It doesn't feel like it but I have seen them in oer a year. The last time I saw them was June 07, 2009. I miss my family. I know that I'll be making a couple trips down there, especially when my brother comes home. I know my sister misses him and so do the boys. I'm happy that's I'll be able to spend a couple days with them. I know that there are other people that want to see me and I'll gladly see them but the main reason I'm going down is to see my sister and my nephews.

I got a hair cut yesterday. It kinda of reminds me of Peter Pan. I love it. I'll have pictures up soon on FB.

Anywho, Naptime is over so back to my momma duties. Love and miss you all.

Thanks for reading, I'll write later.

Has it really been 4 months already???

Me oh my, how time flies. It still boggles my mind to know that my little Bug is 4 months old. It feels like just yesterday that I found out that I was pregnant and I've already been her momma for 4 months, 1 week, and 3 days. She really has changed my life. I wouldn't change a thing in my life right now. I am so happy and I know that, because I've seen rock bottom, things can only continue to go up. If you had asked me where I saw myself this time last year I wouldn't have been able to tell you. I found out I was pregnant July 29th and, even though I always knew I wanted to be a mother, I never knew how much different life is when you have someone who depends entirely on you.

Life is super crazy right now, but how could it not be with Memaw and Poppa buying the new house, Poppa working on the house, Uncle T having a girlfriend for the first time in almost 7 years, Aunt K being in town with George and Fred (I have not used any reall names fyi[George is my neice and Fred is my nephew]), and Mimi just being her usual self. I have found such happiness in my life.

Miss Bug is so very close to rolling over. She had a Dr. app on the 04th and she got her 04 month shots. She is growing so fast. Dr. D said she was in the 50 percentile on growth. She ended up getting her first fever teh day after her shots. It's shocking how scary just a fever can be to a mom. I never thought I would be terrified because of it. Good news is that I was able to break it. She slept most of it off and the ibuprofen helped, plus I gave her a bath.

Look at how my little one is growing. Getting so big on her momma. She doesn't even look like the same baby I brought home.

At birth:
5lb 7oz
18.5ins long
12in head circumference


At 04 months:
14lb
24ins long
16.5in head circumference

DONE!!!

Why should I be the one trying in a relationship? Why do I always find the guys that are great at frist but turn out to be douchebags? Don't I deserve to be happy. Doesn't my daughter deserve to know her father? I'm done trying to have things work with him. I have tried and tried and the only thing that happened was him yelling at me. I'm through. I tell him Miss Bug has been fussy al day and he doesn't ask why until I ask him "Aren't you wondering why?" Kinda messed up. I shouldn't have to force him to be concerned for his daughter.

I haven't heard from him in like a week and I'm done trying to get him to talk to me.

So, according to me, I'm single and have been since Eric and I broke up. I never felt like me and JV were dating. I am a single momma and I'm happy with that.


Sort of a vent. Sorry, but I needed to get it out.