Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Merry Holidays!!!!
January:
*The accident where my G6 was deemed totaled. God was looking out for Miss Bug and I because it could have been so much worse.
February:
*Papi got transferred to Northern MI with a better job. We visited and found where our new home would be.
March:
*Papi had surgery on his shoulder and needless to say I was scared. I knew with was perfectly safe but when some you love has surgery you always think of that small chance something could go wrong.
*Miss Bug turned 2. She had a blast at her birthday party and I honestly can't believe I have to start planning her 3rd birthday.
April:
*We moved up north. We started fresh in a new city. It took some getting use to but we absolutely love our new home.
*My beautiful niece was born on the fourteenth.
May:
*Miss bug went from being in her crib to a toddler bed; she had no problem with the transition at all.
*Papi and I went to Cedar Point with some friends after going to the World Expo of Beer in Frankenmuth. We had a lot of fun.
*Miss Bug got her very first pet, a fish.
June:
*Papi went back to work after recovering from his surgery.
*Made the Dean's List at school.
July:
*Peter Jackson confirmed the production of The Hobbit. Nerdgasm!!!
August:
*I finally did something about the pain in my mouth and found out that I have to have all my wisdom surgically extracted.
September:
*School started back up for me.
*I started working at Big Lots.
*Miss Bug started to become even more interested in the potty.
October:
*A very dear friend got married so Miss Bug and I traveled down-state to be there for her.
*Miss Bug started speaking longer sentences and started dressing herself.
*National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness
*Started working at Paulstra CRC and quit Big Lots.
November:
*Finally made friends up here. It took awhile but I've found some.
And lastly, December (even though it's not over yet):
*Became even closer to my friends and gotten use to my work schedule.
*I made the Dean's List again and brought my GPA up to a solid 3.1
I'm ready to see what 2013 brings to myself and my family.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Busy time...
About a month ago I actually started working for Big Lots in town. It's a great place to work, but not for only six hours a week. I know that finding a job is extremely difficult in today's economy, but I am thoroughly sick and tired of working in retail. Last year, I worked at Carter's and Black Friday was horrible. As much as I didn't want to work at some store this year, I put applications in everywhere I saw and it just so happened that BL liked me and hired me. Now my job at BL is completely different than any job in retail that I've ever done because all I do at BL is stock. I work two days a week at three hours a day. That's a whopping six SIX hours a week at $0.50 over minimum wage.When I hired in I was told that I would get at least 10-15 hours a week, but no.
So I started at BL the week before classes started and it's worked out pretty good, but man I wish I could get more hours. Or at least I did wish I could get more hours. As of last week, I started putting applications in at temp agencies. Monday morning I got a call with a job. I am now the temporary employee of a factory here in Cadillac. I will be working fifth shift (yes fifth) which is Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 7pm to 7am. I have absolutely no idea where in the plant I'm going to be, but as long as I don't miss any day and work my full 12 hour shift I'll get 4 hours bonus pay so I'll get paid for 40 hours and only work 36. I'm excited and nervous. I've never done anything like this, but I am always searching for knowledge.
Well, while I wait for Miss Bug to wake up I'm going to continue enjoying my movie. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. NERD!!!!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
It's that time of the year again...
Five years ago, I found out I was gonna be a Momma. I was so excited and terrified at the same time. Growing up, all I ever wanted to be was someone's mother and in August of 2007 my dream was finally coming true. I had been married for eight almost nine months and, even though I was still only eighteen, I had graduated high school and was enjoying being a wife to my soldier. When Halloween passed and my ex-husband went into the field, I was miserable. I miscarried my precious daughter on November 03, 2007. I miss my Hayden so much every day. I know that my angel is watching over me, her baby sister, her step-daddy, and her real daddy, even if he never accepted the fact that I was pregnant and the I lost her. It's absolutely ridiculous that her step-daddy has accepted Hayden more than her real daddy.

Most do not know that October the nationally recognized month of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. October 15th was then envisioned as a day for families and friends to come together to remember and honor babies who left this world too soon. You can visit the official site of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance.
Every year it's gets harder and harder to see Autumn come because it's means it's been another year since Hayden joined her Great Memaw. I know my Memaw is taking great care of my baby until I get called to her.
The other night I watched 'What To Expect When You're Expecting' and I am so happy I never saw it when it was in theatres. The character Rosie had gotten far enough into her pregnancy to be able to see her baby during an ultrasound. They say it's less likely for you to miscarry once the heartbeat has been heard and even less likely after you see the fetus during an ultrasound. Well, I never go to see Hayden or hear her heartbeat. However, Rosie did and that evening, once she realized she was starting to show, she lost her baby. All my memories of losing Hayden came back to me and I couldn't help but cry, not just a couple tears but I mean sobbing like I did in 2007. Papi was able to calm me down, but throughout the rest of the movie I could really feel for Rosie. I remember all those feelings and the movie just made me miss Hayden even more.
November 03rd will mark the fifth year since I started missing my little angel and I will be getting the tattoo in memory of her. Since I already have the design I figured I'd share it here. The only change is that Hayden's name is actually going to be pink. I'm still contemplating where they will go. At only point I had a completely different design draw up but it would have been huge and I figured smaller is better. The first design will just become a painting.
Monday, September 10, 2012
I am blessed
We have been living in Cadillac for five months now and in those five months I have truly seen who my true friends are. The people who contact me, who actually want to know how I'm doing, are the only people that matter. I have gone through quite a bit of 'friends' in my short life and the ones that have stayed true to me are ones that I can truly call the family I choose.
As of April, I have lost a lot of people in my life. It seems that when I left Flint they fell off the edge of the world. Now, moving has been a great step for my family. True, it has been difficult at times, but I feel like we are a stronger family now. I know that Miss Bug's godmothers miss us very much; I would know that without them telling me weekly. They have been the only friends to drive the two hours from Flint to see us. We have seen them more than anyone else. I have an almost 5 month old niece (HQ) that I see whenever we go to Flint. I hate missing all the little things my baby is learning. Now HQ's Momma has been in my life since high school. She is my sister in every aspect next to being blood related. Wenny's family became my family, along with all the friends that still talk to me. They have seen me in the best of times and in the worst of times and have stood by me throughout everything. I love my chosen family.
I cannot wait for this week to fly by. I finally go to the dentist on Thursday and then next Wednesday I have a doctor's appointment. The week after that I start school and it may possibly be the start of my last year so woohoo!!! As much as I love learning, I'm ready to be a college graduate and start my career already.
Anywho, I hope everyone is doing great. I know I am.
:~*~:ME:~*~:
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Our little morning routine
A typically morning for me means waking up to an alarm set for 5:15am. Papi's alarm had gone off 15 minutes beforehand. I cuddle up to him for 10 minutes and then it's out of bed to make his lunch. He's usually out of the house by 6am and I go and crawl back into our still cozy-warm bed. I check FB, my email, instagram, and twitter then settle down with a book (the book aspect is new since I just got my bookworm vibe back). I read until my stomach starts demanding food. After a small pre-breakfast snack, I crawl into bed to catch a couple more zzz's; however that doesn't happen because of a certain little Bug. She wakes up and comes straight into Momma and daddy's room for a cuddle while we watch some cartoons. Every morning during the week this happens and I love it. It's become a little thing that's only mine. Weekend morning are made for playing with Momma and daddy on their bed and I love that too, but our special, quiet mornings are about the only time Bug cuddles and loves on me anymore, unless of course she's fallen and hurt herself.
Miss Bug is no longer a baby, she's definitely her own little person and she is fiercely independent. I wouldn't have her any other way. Of course, with her being independent means she doesn't listen to Momma. Daddy, yes; Momma, not so much and I know it's because she sees me all day every day and, especially since it's summer, Daddy doesn't get home until late (almost bedtime sometimes). Last night, he didn't get home until almost 9pm. It was a hectic day for this Momma, but I love every moment I spend with my daughter.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Skin to skin contact
I feel like one thing I did the best was Skin to Skin contact. She use to cry so much that really the only thing that calmed her down we laying on my bare chest and listening to my heartbeat. Memaw told me that one time when she was over there Miss Bug was not listening to Memaw about not standing in a chair. Memaw would sit her down and tell her that she couldn't stand in it because she might fall. Well, my child pushes her limits, but when 2 year old doesn't. She stood up and fell off the chair. Memaw told her that if she fell there would be no crying because she had been warned. Well, she didn't cry, but she did want to snuggle. She laid her head on Memaw's chest, sat up, Memaw moved her glasses, laid down, sat up, grabbed Memaw's collar, laid down again, sat up, pulled more on Memaw's shirt, and continued trying to get that skin to skin contact she wanted. If that doesn't mean something to a Momma then I don't know what will.
I may not have been able to do everything I wanted, but I'm still a fantastic mother and hopefully my next baby will be just like their big sister.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Settled and ready
The other day Papi and I took Miss Bug on a walk on the trail behind our house. He was pushing the stroller and his legs are longer than mine so every ten minutes I'd have to run to catch up to them. Well, Miss Bug started saying "Bye, Momma". I'd run to catch up and Papi would take off in a run with Miss Bug. She thought it was hilarious. We'd race down the trail and it was fun. It did another thing for me, it showed me how out of shape I really am. My goal is to lose 60 pounds and I will lose it.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Birthday party for my *almost* 2 year old
I seriously was hurt yesterday when people who claim to me as family and claim that Miss Bug is their adopted niece/granddaughter didn't bother letting me know that they weren't able to make it. It would have been a completely different story if they had let me know why they weren't coming but they didn't do anything except respond to a text I sent them apologizing. I told Papi yesterday that I was going to get my daughter's baby clothes I lent to them and I was washing my hands of them. They haven't asked about Miss Bug since they got a vehicle and didn't need me to drive them all over. Fine, act like this now, get on my bad side and you will NEVER see me or my daughter again.
Onto the person who I have always said was my sister. She has 2 boys, my nephews, who absolutely love playing with their cousins. Fred and George were up from Chicago with Memaw so they could come to Miss Bug's party. S told me she was coming and then invited me to Monkey's birthday party. I was happy to go, especially since it's possible that I won't be able to make it down for another one in a while. Now you would think if I brought Miss Bug to Monkey's party she would make an effort to come to Miss Bug's, but no. Even when Memaw called to make sure she was still coming it rang once then went to voicemail which means she ignored the call. How f****n rude.
Needless to say, I was over the moon pissed at people.
However, I'm happy at the people who actually did show up. Memaw, GG, Fred, George, Mimi, both Miss Bug's Godmommas, Unk, Aunt E, Tisha, and SB (who took the pictures for us) all showed up for Miss Bug. Yesterday showed me who I could count on especially Tisha because the last time she saw Miss Bug, she was only about 3 months old. I'm hoping the next post will have pictures to post.
My little girl is getting so big and so smart so fast. I swear she is advanced for her age, but I am her momma so my opinion is extremely bias. I know she is going to grow up happy and that's all I really care about, her just being happy and enjoying her childhood to the fullest.
Post ya later.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Life's about to get real crazy
I'm sitting up at the hospital waiting for Papi to get out of surgery. Time seems to be dragging on right now. I'm ready to know he's out and everything went great. I hate hospitals and just think I may end up working in one. I think it's just the fact that you never know what's gonna happen and it's a little scary. I know he's gonna be okay but there's still that fear that they could do more damage in the long run. However, he trusts the doctor so I will.
I'm also ready to be out of mid-Michigan. As much as I loved growing up here it's just too hard to live here now. I couldn't even find a job in Flint. Hopefully I can find something where I get more than 4-8 hours a week. I'm really looking forward to making a fresh start in a new city. School is gonna be completely different because i'm not going for lpn anymore.
Miss Bug is thriving. She's so smart and getting so big. I can't believe how beautiful she's become. She truly is the beat thing to ever happen to me. I can't wait to make her a big sister. I'm ready for that stage. She already mommies her baby dolls and I see how she acts around other babies. She's gonna be an amazing big sister one day.
Well, i'm gonna end here and i'll write again soon.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Wow...it's been awhile.
Anywho, my last post was a sad day for me. I think about my life right now and I wonder what it would be like to have an almost 4 year old running around, playing with her little sister.
So things are great. January was a bit rough but this month has been tons better. I can hardly believe what's happening right now. I'll start with how the holidays went and just do a quick update on everything.
End of 2011:
We ended up celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas early with my family because of my working retail. Miss Bug had a blast spending time with her cousins and being spoiled by her Memaw. When Christmas really rolled around, we ended up back at my parents. So that was #2 for Miss Bug. She actually got 3 separate Christmases because of how things worked out. Anywho, I brought in the New Year the best way I could, cuddled up to the man who loves me with all his heart. We tried to watch the ball drop in NYC but we missed it by 2seconds; however our first kiss in 2012 was AMAZING!!!
January;
I started my 2nd year at Baker and so far it's been going good. College is hectic and I'll be happy when I'm finished but I know that I have to do it in order to get a decent job in today's economy. The month floated by with nothing too major happening...that was until the 27th. As many of you should know, I was driving a cute 2007 Pontiac G6 and, even though it was small, I loved my car. At about 4:40ish January 27th some
February:
This month has been all about the possibility of us moving. Well, it's not a possibility anymore. We are currently in the city where we plan on moving and we've got a town house on hold for us. We will be moving the last weekend in March so we have a little over a month to go through everything in our house, pack it up and get settled. School starts April 02nd for me and that includes me switching programs. Luckily, I can switch my program and register for classes back home this week. As soon as we get back to town, that's one thing that will be happening.
So there you have it. We've got a crazy, hectic, amazing journey ahead of us and I honestly can't wait. This is one step into our new life and so far it's looking pretty wonderful. I know it's gonna get to a point where my blog will be one way for people to keep updated with me and I'm gonna try to post more, but I'm not promising anything.
Until next time, TTFN!


