Busy time...

...And it's not going to slow down anytime soon.

About a month ago I actually started working for Big Lots in town. It's a great place to work, but not for only six hours a week. I know that finding a job is extremely difficult in today's economy, but I am thoroughly  sick and tired of working in retail. Last year, I worked at Carter's and Black Friday was horrible. As much as I didn't want to work at some store this year, I put applications in everywhere I saw and it just so happened that BL liked me and hired me. Now my job at BL is completely different than any job in retail that I've ever done because all I do at BL is stock. I work two days a week at three hours a day. That's a whopping six SIX hours a week at $0.50 over minimum wage.When I hired in I was told that I would get at least 10-15 hours a week, but no.

So I started at BL the week before classes started and it's worked out pretty good, but man I wish I could get more hours. Or at least I did wish I could get more hours. As of last week, I started putting applications in at temp agencies. Monday morning I got a call with a job. I am now the temporary employee of a factory here in Cadillac. I will be working fifth shift (yes fifth) which is Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 7pm to 7am. I have absolutely no idea where in the plant I'm going to be, but as long as I don't miss any day and work my full 12 hour shift I'll get 4 hours bonus pay so I'll get paid for 40 hours and only work 36. I'm excited and nervous. I've never done anything like this, but I am always searching for knowledge.

Well, while I wait for Miss Bug to wake up I'm going to continue enjoying my movie. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. NERD!!!!

DFTBA

Don't Forget To Be Awesome!!!

It's that time of the year again...

...and it's not any easier.

Five years ago, I found out I was gonna be a Momma. I was so excited and terrified at the same time. Growing up, all I ever wanted to be was someone's mother and in August of 2007 my dream was finally coming true. I had been married for eight almost nine months and, even though I was still only eighteen, I had graduated high school and was enjoying being a wife to my soldier. When Halloween passed and my ex-husband went into the field, I was miserable. I miscarried my precious daughter on November 03, 2007. I miss my Hayden so much every day. I know that my angel is watching over me, her baby sister, her step-daddy, and her real daddy, even if he never accepted the fact that I was pregnant and the I lost her. It's absolutely ridiculous that her step-daddy has accepted Hayden more than her real daddy.

Most do not know that October the nationally recognized month of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. October 15th was then envisioned as a day for families and friends to come together to remember and honor babies who left this world too soon. You can visit the official site of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance.

Every year it's gets harder and harder to see Autumn come because it's means it's been another year since Hayden joined her Great Memaw. I know my Memaw is taking great care of my baby until I get called to her.

The other night I watched 'What To Expect When You're Expecting' and I am so happy I never saw it when it was in theatres. The character Rosie had gotten far enough into her pregnancy to be able to see her baby during an ultrasound. They say it's less likely for you to miscarry once the heartbeat has been heard and even less likely after you see the fetus during an ultrasound. Well, I never go to see Hayden or hear her heartbeat. However, Rosie did and that evening, once she realized she was starting to show, she lost her baby. All my memories of losing Hayden came back to me and I couldn't help but cry, not just a couple tears but I mean sobbing like I did in 2007. Papi was able to calm me down, but throughout the rest of the movie I could really feel for Rosie. I remember all those feelings and the movie just made me miss Hayden even more.

November 03rd will mark the fifth year since I started missing my little angel and I will be getting the tattoo in memory of her. Since I already have the design I figured I'd share it here. The only change is that Hayden's name is actually going to be pink. I'm still contemplating where they will go. At only point I had a completely different design draw up but it would have been huge and I figured smaller is better. The first design will just become a painting.

Momma misses you so much Hayden. I love you, my sweet angel.

...~oOo~...