So much on my mind

I've been questioning myself on whether I want Little Miss Bug to know her little brother. Yes, you saw right. Miss Bug has a little brother as of 4:51 this morning. Things are very complicated with it too. SD really doesn't want to be a part of Miss Bug's life and honestly I could care less now. I gave him more the chance thatn I should have and he didn't take it. It's not Miss Bug's or JJ's fault that their SD(daddy for JJ[maybe]) is a DB, but I don't want Miss Bug to resent Papi and I for keeping her brother from her when she finds out. I know there's a chance she won't find out, but if she does I don't want her to resent us. Resent SD yes, us no, because We can tell her that Mommy tried and SD didn't seem to care. Once JJ's mommy found out and Miss Bug, SD denied her and said he wanted a DNA test.

Miss Bug also has a big sister, but I doubt they will ever meet because she lives in Missouri.

I hnoestly don't know what I should do. Part of me wants her to know JJ, the other part says 'just let it be, you did everything you could'. I'm just so confused right now. I don't want to hurt Miss Bug but I also don't want to hurt Papi.

So tell me something. Do you think they're related?

JJ

Miss Bug

2011 Goals

Okay so I've decided to make a list of my goals this year. A friend of mine had done this and I feel like it's a good thing to put out there.

Here goes:

1. Get down to my goal weight of 140-145lbs.
Join a gym and watch what I eat. No more fast food, no more sugary drinks and snacks. Drink more water. I'm not happy weighing 196.2 lbs

2. Pass all of my classes for school.
Study, study, study. My mom and dad gave me my dad's old desktop that he never used so I don't have to worry about being in the middle of something for school and lose everything because of my laptop shutting off for no reason.

3. Quit being such a pack rat.
I've started throwing stuff away that I don't use or even look at. I've found so many things that belongs to my ex husband that I have no idea why I still have them.

4. Completely wipe everything off my laptop.
It needs to be brought to a clean slate. I know it's the only way it'll be able to work the way it's suppose to. I've had it since 2007 and I've put a lot of stuff on it. First step is getting everything that I want to keep off it and put it on my external harddrive.

5. Blog more.
Self explanatory.



Okay so, I'll keep y'all posted as I complete each of my goals. I know I can do it.

Welcome 2011!!!

First off, Happy New Year!!!!!

This year is going to be absolutely outstanding I think. My little girl will be turning one. I still can't believe it's been almost a year since I became a momma. I have to say that it has been the very best 9 months of my life. Miss Bug happens to have a small cold right now, but I think it's mainly because her top teeth have cut through. Yes, I said TEETH. Both her top teeth popped up at the same time. I've already started planning her birthday party even though it's still 3 almost 4 months away.

Christmas was great. We went to Whitehall on the 22nd, opened gifts on the 23rd, and came home on the 24th so we could have our own small Christmas in our house. Memaw then brought George and Fred over to do another small christmas gathering with Miss Bug and their other 2 cousins (my nephews, D & A) on the 30th. Miss Bug had a blast at Memaw and Poppa's. She got some toys she absolutely love playing with. Needless to say I think my little girl got spoiled with the ammount of celebrations she got for her first Christmas. Hopefully she doesn't start thinking this is how it should be every year.

New Year's was celebrated by Papi and I watching The Office until 11:50pm. Then we flipped the TV over to ABC to watch the ball drop. I have to say that the kiss I got at midnight has to be the very best new year's kiss ever.

I need to start taking my Christmas decorations down but I really don't have the motivation to do it. Plus, I love having my christmas decorations out. I'll probably end up taking it all down when Papi goes back to work on Monday.

Anyways, I'm off. Just thought I would update you all and wish you all a very Happy New Year!!! I hope all your wishes come true.

And, I'm off.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!

So today I turned 22. Honestly I have to say so far it's one of the best birthdays ever. I have my daughter who has been nothing but smiles and laughs for her momma and I have such an amazing man in my life who loves and supports everything I do. I've dealt with a lot within the past year and a half, but it all seems worth it because I am extremely happy with my life. Yeah, I was heartbroken when Nate told me he didn't love me anymore and I was fed up when Eric said he didn't know if he could raise another man's child. Papi has no problem raise Miss Bug as his daughter. He loves her like she is his blood.

I've also been dealing with some drama this week. S.D.'s girlfriend contacted me on fb this week and asked me if my "baby daddy" was S.D. Apparently, Miss Bug is his 2nd child. He has a daughter in Missouri who turned 1 today (weird, but shows you how small the world really is). Anywho, so Miss Bug may have a big sister and she's soon to have a little brother. And because S.D.'s GF found out about Miss Bug (S.D. and she have been dating for 3 years) he's now wanting a DNA test. Never once did he question her being his biological daughter.

I'm pretty much done with him. He has only seen her once and she was 2 months old at the time. She's almost 9 months old. She has her dada and she doesn't really need him.

Anyways, I'm over his BS. He really is nothing more than a sperm donor. I wouldn't want him around my daughter anyways. I feel bad for his family though. She's someone's granddaughter/niece/cousin and they're never gonna really know her, if they even know about her.

I'm just so very happy that Papi loves her so much that he proudly calls her his daughter. One day she'll have a big sister to look up to because Papi has another daughter.

Really??? Are you that desperate?

So I checked my email this morning and I got an email from a dear friend who also happens to be the owner to a online community I'm a part of. She sent it to me to inform me that my account had been reactivated. I forgot my password so I haven't been on in months. Well, she thought that I had just made a new account using Miss Bug's name. No I didn't. In the email she attached the info on the account. Well, it wasn't my email address, nor was it one I had ever used. It happened to be the email address of my ex-boyfriend. Why he made it I have no idea, but I feel like he might be trying to stalk me. Now, this community is for MILITARY WIVES (past, present, and future). Now when I informed the ladies of this site that I was getting a divorce they said that no matter what they woudl still be there for me, whether I was a army wife or not.

While I was pregnant I would get on the site and vent and talk and just have "me" time. Well, Eric didn't see the point of me still being part or a military wife site. I told him time and again that it was more than just a military wife site. I thold him those women were my friends.

Now, it upset me when I found out he was trying to join a site he had no right joining. When I found out that he was using MY daughter's name, it pissed me off. I mean, HOW DARE HE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Not only did he use her name but he also used the month and date of her birthday. I am just so glad my friend emailed me. She said that she would be deleting the account under Miss Bug's name and reactivating mine original account.

I was so tempted to email him and give him a piece of my mind, but all it would doo is make more drama in my life and I've decided to be the bigger person when it comes to the petty things exes do. I know that all they're trying to is get a rise out of me and if I start drama then I let them know that they can still get under my skin. I won't be giving them the satifaction.