Why should I be the one trying in a relationship? Why do I always find the guys that are great at frist but turn out to be douchebags? Don't I deserve to be happy. Doesn't my daughter deserve to know her father? I'm done trying to have things work with him. I have tried and tried and the only thing that happened was him yelling at me. I'm through. I tell him Miss Bug has been fussy al day and he doesn't ask why until I ask him "Aren't you wondering why?" Kinda messed up. I shouldn't have to force him to be concerned for his daughter.
I haven't heard from him in like a week and I'm done trying to get him to talk to me.
So, according to me, I'm single and have been since Eric and I broke up. I never felt like me and JV were dating. I am a single momma and I'm happy with that.
Sort of a vent. Sorry, but I needed to get it out.
My babies
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Fighting with a Bug and her thumb
So Miss Bug has started sucking on her thumb. She's adament about it too. I can take her thumb out of her mouth and pop in her paci adn as soon as I turn my head she spits her paci out and into her mouth goes her thumb. She's a smart little girl too. Last night I put her in her Jumperoo and turn on the music box. Well in order for it to play music the jumper has to move. It took Miss Bug about 2 minutes to figure it out.
She loves walks, even in this heat. I'm making it a habit that every night after it's cooled off a little we go on a walk before bed. It helps he relax and go to sleep easier. She had started fighting me when I'd put her in her swing for bed. I don't rock her, she really fights me then. I've been putting her in her swing for the past couple weeks so she can be rocked to sleep.
Memaw and Poppa went on vacations last week and once Miss Bug realized she hadn't seen them she really started fighting me at bed time. She would scream until she just tired herself out. Well one night I just had had enough so I grabbed the stroller and we went on a walk at about 8:30. it had cooled off enough to wear it was tolerable. Well, I had given her a bottle before we left and she loved the walk. We walked for about 30 minutes and then went home. I put her in her swing and she cried for a minute or two and then just zonked out.
I feel very blessed that Miss Bug already sleeps through the night. Usually, if she doesn't fight me too bad, she's asleep by 10-10:30 and she'll wake up at about 8-8:30 for a bottle and take a short hour nap.
JV is just wonderful. We started dating on June 25th and it's hard because he's working at Cedar Point this summer, but we're making it work. He changed his mind about joining the Foreign Legion. He wants to join the USMC but he has a problem taking tests. I've got to get to him so I can help him study for it. He's now talking about moving to MO when he's done working at Cedar Point.
Memaw and Poppa bought a house in Muskegon. The house in KY didn't happen so they found another. One closer to GG. It's like 2 miles from Lake Michigan and 8 miles from Michigan Adventures. It should be nice. I don't know how long I'll be living with them but it'll be nice to have my own room again. Miss Bug will have her own room as well. I can't wait to decorate our rooms. I have to make sure a rainbow is put in her room.
Something I just started telling people is why I'm putting a rainbow in her room. A very dear friend of mine died my freshman year of highschool. Marcus was a great friend and didn't let anyone put him down or bully him because he was gay. He passed away March 29th, 2004. Six year later I had Miss Bug. After they took her off my chest to clean her up a little and check her over I looked out the window and saw a rainbow. I think that was Marcus watching over her. So because of that she will always have a rainbow of some sorts in her bedroom.
She loves walks, even in this heat. I'm making it a habit that every night after it's cooled off a little we go on a walk before bed. It helps he relax and go to sleep easier. She had started fighting me when I'd put her in her swing for bed. I don't rock her, she really fights me then. I've been putting her in her swing for the past couple weeks so she can be rocked to sleep.
Memaw and Poppa went on vacations last week and once Miss Bug realized she hadn't seen them she really started fighting me at bed time. She would scream until she just tired herself out. Well one night I just had had enough so I grabbed the stroller and we went on a walk at about 8:30. it had cooled off enough to wear it was tolerable. Well, I had given her a bottle before we left and she loved the walk. We walked for about 30 minutes and then went home. I put her in her swing and she cried for a minute or two and then just zonked out.
I feel very blessed that Miss Bug already sleeps through the night. Usually, if she doesn't fight me too bad, she's asleep by 10-10:30 and she'll wake up at about 8-8:30 for a bottle and take a short hour nap.
JV is just wonderful. We started dating on June 25th and it's hard because he's working at Cedar Point this summer, but we're making it work. He changed his mind about joining the Foreign Legion. He wants to join the USMC but he has a problem taking tests. I've got to get to him so I can help him study for it. He's now talking about moving to MO when he's done working at Cedar Point.
Memaw and Poppa bought a house in Muskegon. The house in KY didn't happen so they found another. One closer to GG. It's like 2 miles from Lake Michigan and 8 miles from Michigan Adventures. It should be nice. I don't know how long I'll be living with them but it'll be nice to have my own room again. Miss Bug will have her own room as well. I can't wait to decorate our rooms. I have to make sure a rainbow is put in her room.
Something I just started telling people is why I'm putting a rainbow in her room. A very dear friend of mine died my freshman year of highschool. Marcus was a great friend and didn't let anyone put him down or bully him because he was gay. He passed away March 29th, 2004. Six year later I had Miss Bug. After they took her off my chest to clean her up a little and check her over I looked out the window and saw a rainbow. I think that was Marcus watching over her. So because of that she will always have a rainbow of some sorts in her bedroom.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day!!!
I just wish Bug's Daddy could be here so we could celebrate it with him. It is his first Father's Day. He was suppose to come to town, but found out he had to work. He's working at Cedar Point this summer and won't be home for good until October. It sucks. I wish he were home now. He's already missed so much with Bug and he's gonna miss so much more. He said he was gonna try to come home for a week straight to spend time with us. I hope he can do it soon.
I picked out a really cute card for him. It's got a papa bear and baby bear hugging and it's recordable so I got Bug babbling for her daddy. I think he's gonna love it. I also made a sign that says "Happy Father's Day -♥- Ellasyn" and when Bug wakes up I'm gonna lay her on the bed and put the sign on or near her and take a picture to send to daddy via phone.
Anywho, that's all about Father's Day. Well now on to my little bug. She's getting so big so fast. It's funny when people see her and think she's only like a month old because she so tiny. I know she's tiny but she just doesn't seem so small to me anymore. She well over 10lbs now. She's starting to teeth too so she's been real fussy.
And now to me. I got a job. I work at the mall selling body jewelry. It's actually a pretty fun job. It's hard to be away from Bug, but I kinda need the money. Bug's Godmother watches her while I work and the first day I worked she said Bug was awake the whole time and was kinda fussy, most likely because she's not use to me not being there for her. The second day I worked she was a little better but still fussed. She's just got to get use to Momma working. Just like I have t get use to not being with her all the time. When I first get to work she's all I think about, but it starts gettting busy, my mind is on work.
Anywho, there's an update. I'll try to get another out soon but I've been busy here lately. Until then God Bless and Happy Father's Day to all the daddys out there.
I picked out a really cute card for him. It's got a papa bear and baby bear hugging and it's recordable so I got Bug babbling for her daddy. I think he's gonna love it. I also made a sign that says "Happy Father's Day -♥- Ellasyn" and when Bug wakes up I'm gonna lay her on the bed and put the sign on or near her and take a picture to send to daddy via phone.
Anywho, that's all about Father's Day. Well now on to my little bug. She's getting so big so fast. It's funny when people see her and think she's only like a month old because she so tiny. I know she's tiny but she just doesn't seem so small to me anymore. She well over 10lbs now. She's starting to teeth too so she's been real fussy.
And now to me. I got a job. I work at the mall selling body jewelry. It's actually a pretty fun job. It's hard to be away from Bug, but I kinda need the money. Bug's Godmother watches her while I work and the first day I worked she said Bug was awake the whole time and was kinda fussy, most likely because she's not use to me not being there for her. The second day I worked she was a little better but still fussed. She's just got to get use to Momma working. Just like I have t get use to not being with her all the time. When I first get to work she's all I think about, but it starts gettting busy, my mind is on work.
Anywho, there's an update. I'll try to get another out soon but I've been busy here lately. Until then God Bless and Happy Father's Day to all the daddys out there.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
My poor baby
So yesterday Little Miss Bug had her 2 month check up and her 2 month shots. She's gaining weight like a little piggy. She weighed 8lb12oz on the 18th of May and yesterday they weighed her at 10lb2oz. She is 21 1/4in long. She hasn't gotten any longer than her last visit.
They doctors are happy about my little girl. They said she's just perfect, gaining weight at a reasonable rate. She's strong and man does she have some lungs on her. I mean I've heard her cry because of gas or constipation, but never pain. She got three shots yesterday, two in her right leg and one in her left. She screamed bloody murder when the nurse gave her her first shot and it just got more high pinched with every shot. Man, I wanted to cry. My baby was hurting and I was the one holding down her leg. Once they were done giving her the shots I picked her up and she was fine. I had to put her back down to get her dressed and she did not what me to do that. I put her in her carseat and as we're walking out of the office I'm holding her bottle in her mouth. She fell asleep before I made it out of the office and slept for 3 hours, ate then went back to sleep. She slept almost all day yesterday.
She's even sleeping right now. She's doing great now though, just sleeping a lot. I thought because she had slept all day yesterday she would be awake all night but she slept all night.
She has a certain way she goes to sleep now. I use to put her in her swaddler but she started houdiniing her arms out of it so I just stopped putting it on her, besides it's too hot in our bedroom for her to be constricted. She sleeps in a onesie and in her bouncer. I put her bouncer in her bed with it vibrating and she sleeps good. I know it might be a pain to break her of it but as long as she sleeps I'm happy.
Anywho, I'm doing great. I feel like I'm able to be myself, say what I want to say, do what I want to do, and be happy without anyone saying something to ruin it for me. I'm trying to find a job and I hope I'm successful, but I know the chances are slim in Flint. There's a booth in the mall called Personal Touch. They sell body jewelry.I hope I get a job there. I wouldn't have to take out any piercings or cover up my tattoos.
They doctors are happy about my little girl. They said she's just perfect, gaining weight at a reasonable rate. She's strong and man does she have some lungs on her. I mean I've heard her cry because of gas or constipation, but never pain. She got three shots yesterday, two in her right leg and one in her left. She screamed bloody murder when the nurse gave her her first shot and it just got more high pinched with every shot. Man, I wanted to cry. My baby was hurting and I was the one holding down her leg. Once they were done giving her the shots I picked her up and she was fine. I had to put her back down to get her dressed and she did not what me to do that. I put her in her carseat and as we're walking out of the office I'm holding her bottle in her mouth. She fell asleep before I made it out of the office and slept for 3 hours, ate then went back to sleep. She slept almost all day yesterday.
She's even sleeping right now. She's doing great now though, just sleeping a lot. I thought because she had slept all day yesterday she would be awake all night but she slept all night.
She has a certain way she goes to sleep now. I use to put her in her swaddler but she started houdiniing her arms out of it so I just stopped putting it on her, besides it's too hot in our bedroom for her to be constricted. She sleeps in a onesie and in her bouncer. I put her bouncer in her bed with it vibrating and she sleeps good. I know it might be a pain to break her of it but as long as she sleeps I'm happy.
Anywho, I'm doing great. I feel like I'm able to be myself, say what I want to say, do what I want to do, and be happy without anyone saying something to ruin it for me. I'm trying to find a job and I hope I'm successful, but I know the chances are slim in Flint. There's a booth in the mall called Personal Touch. They sell body jewelry.I hope I get a job there. I wouldn't have to take out any piercings or cover up my tattoos.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
She laughed!!!
I was just talking to her this mornign and she just laughed. All I said was "What are you doing, baby girl?" My baby laughed at her momma. It made me so happy.
She's such a happy little girl. She's gone four days without being constipated. She actually have 2 BMs today. That makes me so happy.
I'm not looking forward to Tuesday. She goes to get her shots. Mom said I needed to give her some tylenol beforehand so I really need to get some for her. She actually let me take a shower tonight. Of course it was a Mommy shower. Maybe 10 minutes.
Goodnight world. Not that I'm going to bed but I'm done with this post.
She's such a happy little girl. She's gone four days without being constipated. She actually have 2 BMs today. That makes me so happy.
I'm not looking forward to Tuesday. She goes to get her shots. Mom said I needed to give her some tylenol beforehand so I really need to get some for her. She actually let me take a shower tonight. Of course it was a Mommy shower. Maybe 10 minutes.
Goodnight world. Not that I'm going to bed but I'm done with this post.
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